Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
