You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
