we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
