Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
