She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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