chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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