i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
