So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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