Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
