dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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