you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
