why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
