im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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