You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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