don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
