Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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