i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
