hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
