Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
