can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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