To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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