The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
kristin has been a bad kristin
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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