Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
