How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Are my feet made of real feet?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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