then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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