Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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