we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
