East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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