I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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