Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
