I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize