im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
