If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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