With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize