Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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