weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
