Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
