I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
