I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize