You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
