Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
