I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
