go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
