I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
