we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
