So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
