so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
