i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
