it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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