I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
