She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
