Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
