That's when you crack a 10am beer
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
