Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
