i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
