Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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