Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
