remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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