put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
