I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
