you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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