fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
