i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
