i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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