On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
