there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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