It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
