i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You took a bar mat shot.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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