So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
