I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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