I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize