Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
