she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize