I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
