So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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